Me Vs. The World

I havent written in a while but i guess its because nothing really has happened. So....i guess i'll just vent, which is good because i normally never do that. I feel like at times the world is against me. For instance, i liked this girl for like a long time, but i never said anything. I finally worked up the courage to ask her, and when i was in the process of asking her, i found out that she just got asked by some other guy 5 minutes earlier. She, of course, said yes to this other guy and i look stupid to her. Also, i just get teased on a regular basis. Thats why i dont really want to go to school. The people there dont like me for some reason and they start calling me names. And the worst part is that I start to believe them. Then I start looking at myself in a negative way and it stinks (for lack of a better term). And going back to the tennis thing......I know what im going to do. It doesnt help when you tell me that you really want me to play. It makes me feel like im letting you down. And for people that know me, you know that im a "people pleaser." So I feel terrible when people say that to me. Its frustrating when I feel like the world is against me, because I feel usless and I don't think that its a battle that I can win. Luckily, I have God on my side. And He can do anything.

Islam+Deerborn=Stonger Christian???

God has been coming to me a lot this past week. Every week I have a Bible study, and a topic that constantly gets brought up is that God will try to make you uncomfortable but in those moments, you'll grow closer to God. This was very true during this past week. You see, I was in Deerborn, Michigan which is a mostly Muslim suburb of Detroit. We were learning about Islam and throwing these party-type-thingys for kids in a neighborhood. We had to go door to door and invite people to come. Occasionally, the people would come out and ask us about the things we were handing out. So, there were 2 problems I was facing: 1.I really don't like to talk to people I don't know. 2. A lot of the time, they couldn't speak english. This is where the part about being uncomfortable comes in. I was able to do it and I really was closer to God, just by talking about Him. It was amazing. It's wierd to think about, but I was bought closer to God while learning about Islam. I'll put this on record: This is probably one of the first of many steps in my spiritual journey.

Let It Go!!!

Not everyone is going to like you (harsh, but true). Not everyone will try to be your friend (once again, harsh). Your life can be defined on how you respond to it. You could dislike them back, and let that hatred boil up inside to where you explode. You could even be depressed, wallow in self-pity, and let it stay inside to where you explode. With either of these choices you will detonate your mind (another phrase for explode). If you think that being rude to the people that don't like you is alright, what would make them to want to like you? Don't hold things against people, Let It Go! If it feels like no one likes you, just remember, God LOVES you.

Be Open

When you're put into a room with a bunch of people that you don't really know... what do you do? It's hard to think about being in a situation like that, but really think about it. You can joke around, get to know them, and have fun.....or you could be quiet, isolate yourself, and hope to go unnoticed. I tend to go to the second option, unless it's with people I know. I find it hard to be open to new people, however I want to be in the process of acting like myself all the time, instead of when I'm just comfortable. How are you going to have people to be comfortable with, if you don't even give them the chance to be comfortable with you? I guess if you want to make new friends, you have to be open. And you should always be willing to make new friends, because God put them in you life for a reason.

just sayin

The next 3 posts were all written within the past week on the Deerborn trip. I didnt have a computer so i wrote them all by hand so then i could copy them now. So, it'll look like i wrote them all just now but i didnt. so, yea.....

Dinosaurs

well, I seem to running out of things to talk about so this post is gonna be really short. I'm going on a trip to Mischigan with 180 this week until Thursday afternoon so there probably wont be a post until then. Hopefully, I will have an expierence that will change my life and I'll be able to write about it. :)

P.S. you won't understand the title of this post unless you're Ali Beeson haha

Decision Time

I know that I've said this already but I'm the kind of person that wants to be everyone's friend. Realistically, this won't ever happen, but for some reason I still try. In my first post, I said that I was going to do Drama instead of Tennis. Unfortunatly, this was a very difficult choice. I understand that it is good for me to get exercise but I shouldn't have to do it if I don't want to. However, there a people who pressure me as much as they can into doing what they want me to do (tennis). I want to make everyone happy, but I really don't want to do it. Its hard for me to upset other people because my biggest fear is to be judged by others. I don't want to face the music but either way someone is going to be upset. And I don't want to be that person. So I'm sorry to the people who pressured me because it didn't work. I'd rather do what makes me happy then what makes other's happy but upsets me. So I guess what I'm saying to everyone, I follow your heart and don't let others get to you.