There's a song that describes whats going on in my head perfectly. Its called "Get Me Right" by Dashboard Confessional. so here's the part I think relates to me the most.
But, Jesus I've fallen
I don't mind the rain in
I meet my maker
I'll meet my maker clean
But, Jesus the truth is
I've struggled so hard to believe
I'll meet my maker
I'll meet my maker
To cure of my doubting blood
And drain me of the sins I love
And take away my disbelief
I know it should come easily
But it reamains inside of me
It battles and devours me
It cuddles up the side of me
And whispers and convinces me I'm
Right
I guess it just shows how easily I'm falling back into my own ways. It starts to take me to a point where I wonder "is it worth it? Is God even real?" But I'm trying my hardest because I tend to be a skeptical person. I need to have faith in what He can do for me, and that every thing will be alright.
It's ok to question God...as long as you come running back to Him. I've questioned my belief in whether or not He's real. BUT make sure you have others around you who will point you in the right direction if you fall.
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